WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I just sharted jello shots
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
