dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
