How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
