waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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