Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
