i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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