Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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