after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
