I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
