You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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