He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
