I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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