Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
