I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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