3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
3pm strippers are depressing
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
