sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
