Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
