she woke up with a sticky ear
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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