i just wanna soil my oats bro
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i believe in u and ur pee
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize