he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
