God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
