You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
