And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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