So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
