just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
