And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
