i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
