I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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