Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
