It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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