imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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