I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
