omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
