Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
