I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
