not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize