can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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