So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
