my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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