Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
