I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
im calling her cock vulture from now on
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
