I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
