If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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