dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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