PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
