girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
home. puking in laundry basket.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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