He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
