So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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