whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
