the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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