I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
