Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
