So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
