I love black thongs
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
