am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
