My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
