Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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