How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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